aware of sexual diseases

Talking with Your Son or Daughter About Sex

Guiding kids through the labyrinth of sexuality in the ‘90s and beyond isn't a one-shot deal. It's a long-term project that begins when your children are very young and extends through their teen years and beyond. Like many long endeavors, however, the rewards are great. Responsible parents can pave the way to a happy, healthy future sex life for their children—when the time is right.

Kids may not admit it, but they need lots of help learning to navigate their sex drive. Don't let embarrassment prevent you from helping your child make the tough sexual decisions of adolescence and beyond. "Preparing children for adulthood is one of the most important things we do as parents," says Debra W. Haffner, MPH, President and Chief Executive Officer of the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS) in New York City.

Communicating or Condoning?

Some parents fear that discussing sex is tantamount to condoning it. That just isn't so. There is no evidence, even after hundreds of studies of the issue, that talking about sex makes kids want to go out and experiment. In fact, studies show that when parents talk about sex, children are more likely to talk about it themselves, to delay their first sexual experiences, and to protect themselves against pregnancy and disease when they do have sex. Research suggests that teens who felt closely connected to their families were less likely to have sex at an early age or to engage in other risky behaviors than were those who felt more distant from their families.

Your child will hear about sex from someone; shouldn't it be from you? As Cynda Ann Johnson, MD, MBA, Professor of Family Medicine and Obstetrics and Gynecology at the University of Kansas Medical Center in Kansas City, tells parents, "This stuff is everywhere.

Do you want to get your two cents' worth or don't you?"

It's natural for parents to feel uncomfortable talking to children about sexuality, according to Felix Gardon, outreach coordinator at SIECUS. But by avoiding such conversations, you will indirectly be telling them you are not willing to talk. By approaching the issue when your children are still toddlers, you will have the opportunity to talk first about more comfortable issues like love and responsibility, and then, as they grow, to eventually discuss complex issues such as relationships and sexual behavior.